Crazy Talk!

 The phrase crazy talk has become part of my vocabulary in the last few years.    I caught this phrase from my daughter, Hannah. One day I said something to her (probably something really off the wall like “you need to clean your room”) and she promptly replied, “Dad, that’s just crazy talk.”

With that phrase rolling around in my head I began to ponder some of the truly outrageous claims that the Bible makes and that to many in the world it is simply classified as “crazy talk.” I also thought about what it would be like if I could travel back in time and be a fly on the wall in some of the Bibles most amazing moments. I wondered if I would be able to keep my mouth shut or would I, like Hannah and blurt out…”that is some crazy talk right there!”

(Before we begin my little trip through time I must warn you that I have a vivid imagination and a somewhat twisted sense of humor and although I never want to offend anyone, I am well aware that sometimes I do. Proceed with caution and a grain of salt.)

In my mind I took a little trip back to the very beginning. It was just me, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We were just chillaxin’ when all of a sudden God said, “It sure is dark out there, let’s make some light.” …and He did. Once we could see what was going on the three of them proceeded to carve out a few oceans and throw out a few mountains. It looked so good they decided that someone really ought to see this so they scooped up some dirt and made a dude. After they breathed into him the dude got up and walked around and seemed genuinely glad to be there, in spite of the fact that he was buck naked. It all seemed a little crazy to me but I didn’t want to say anything and cut my trip short so I slipped out of there and moved on in time.

Next I found myself sitting with God and a man named Noah. God was not happy and he was telling Noah that all of mankind’s thoughts were continually on evil and he had decided to clean house. But, since Noah was a righteous kind of guy he was going to let Him build a boat and ride out the coming storm. Oh yeah, and God told Noah that just before it rained he would cause two of every animal to come to him and get on the boat. This all sounded pretty crazy to me since I can’t even get my dog, Boscoe, to come to me when I call his name or to go outside and go potty. So, on I went.

Next I found myself in a tent with an old woman and an old man. The man’s name was Abraham and he was singing to the old woman. He was singing, “the thrill is gone baby, the thrill is gone away.” Just before the old lady clocked him with a frying pan a big angel showed up and told them to fire up some candles and put some Barry White on the old record player cause they were going to have a baby! I got out of there fast.

After that I found myself in a beautiful palace in place called Egypt. Before me there were two men. One looked like a King and the other looked like a shepherd of some kind. The shepherd looking guy was stuttering around and trying to convince the king guy to let a few million of the shepherd’s family off of work for an extremely long vacation. When the King guy refused, the shepherd guy told him he was going to turn the water into blood, cover the land with bugs, darkness and death. Since I am not fond of bugs, the dark or death I got out of there just in case this wasn’t just a bunch of crazy talk. However they worked it out, I did see the old shepherd guy later standing out by the ocean with   a big crowd of folks. He had his hands up.

I moved quickly from scene to scene. I saw a long haired dude whipping the snot out of about a thousand guys. Later I saw the same guy carrying a huge set of city gates on his shoulders. I asked the guy what had him all upset and he said he was carrying around a real heavy secret and on top of that he was having “women” troubles.

Next I found myself on a boat deck with a rebellious little guy named Jonah and God was telling him, “now listen you got two choices, you can preach or you can go fishin’.” Later I found myself with this same little guy in a cold, dark, wet, fishy smelling place. Only this time the guys whole attitude was different and just kept saying, I’ll go Lord, I’ll go…

Before I could dry off I ran into a little red headed boy who smelled like sheep and he was talking trash to a giant of a man named Goliath. He told the big guy that he was going to cut off his head and feed it to the birds and he was going to use Goliath’s own sword to do it. That was all I needed to see. Them Old Testament folk are C-RA-ZY! The OT is “fo sho” full of some crazy talk! I decide to skip on over to the New Testament where surely cooler head would prevail. Not!

The first guy I met I the NT is a big angel and he is telling a young girl about how highly favored she is and how she is going to have a kid in spite of the fact that she had not been with a man. I am not sure if the girl thought it was crazy talk but I am pretty sure her fiance did.

I then met a man wearing a camels hair suit who was just finishing up his lunch and he had grasshopper legs in his mustache and beard. He seemed to have a very popular ministry even though he only had one sermon. REPENT! Of course we know today that that is surely crazy talk. You can’t tell people to repent especially nowadays because we all know that nothing is really a sin anymore.

Next I am in a garden with a man named Peter and he is threatening to cut some guys hear off. Thankfully before he could start slicing I find myself on a street, with this same guy, and he is telling a crippled beggar that although he himself doesn’t have any money either, if the beggar will just take his hand he can rise and walk! If that wasn’t enough for me to call “crazy talk” I then overhear this guy Peter warning a guy named Annanias to be real careful when he answered the next question or those two guys over by the door would be carrying him out the door on a stretcher. Ok, I’m out of here.

My time spent with the Apostle Paul proved to be just as wild. Only Paul would be the be the guest of honor at his own stoning then dust himself off and go back to preaching. Only Paul would tell a boat load of hopeless starving sailors who had been battling storms for weeks to “Don’t worry, be happy because GOD told me everything is gonna be all right!

At this point I am almost ready to conclude along with the world that this book is full of crazy talk. But, I feel like I must go see the most important man of all in the Bible, Jesus. Surely Jesus will help me make sense of all of this crazy talk. But lo and behold if Jesus ain’t saying the craziest things of all.

I stand in shock as I hear Him tell a heartbroken Dad that his daughter is not really dead she is only sleeping.

He then tells the distraught sister of his good friend who had just died a few days earlier to stop fretting because “Resurrection” has just showed up in the flesh and his name is Jesus!

When a crowd of 5000 is starving out on a hillside what does Jesus say? “Hey little boy can I borrow your sack lunch?”

When people threatened His life Jesus would just tell them, “If you kill me, in three days…I’ll be baaaack.”

When one of the most powerful government officials in the land warns Jesus that he has the power to give him the death penalty how does Jesus respond? He tells him, “You can’t kill me, don’t you that I could call down a couple of thousand angels right now to take care of you.”

Add to that fishing for money, putting mud in peoples eyes, walking on water, bossing around storms and telling people he can forgive their sins and you have a great case for some good old fashioned crazy talk.

On top of all of that He keeps telling everybody he is God!

Friends, if you are still reading this I think you get my point. The Bible seems to be full of outrageous claims, crazy talk. But you know what? it ain’t crazy if you can back it up!

You see it all sounded crazy until God said Let there be light and it got real bright outside.The angels words seemed far fetched to old Abe until they heard the baby crying. Pharaoh didn’t take ole stuttering Moses serious until the bugs started invading and it got real dark. The giant laughed at the little shepherd boy until his head started hurting and he hit the ground.Peter words weren’t so strange when the crippled man got up and walked home.

The sailors had a different opinion of Paul once they found themselves sitting around a campfire drying off. And one day when Jesus comes back just like he said he would the world will see that the Bible was not a bunch of “crazy talk.” It is all true.

John 17:17  ….thy word is truth. (KJV)

John 14:6 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

Now that ain’t no “crazy talk.”